NEWS FLASH, I really am too old for the military.

Could someone please tell me where all the time goes. Time used to go so slow when we were kids - now I turn around and its like a week later and I don't remember anything.

I've been trying to paint my bedroom for like three months. I have hunkered down the last week or so and done all the prepping. In fact this morning I finished the texturing and caulking. Now I have to tape off the trim for painting. I feel like I've made headway, however my cat is freaking out that the bed is in the wrong place. I can't sleep. Parts of my body hurt that well, shouldn't. My arms feel like noodles - my hand I think will never be the same after using the caulking gun. My butt feels like I've done a week on the stair climber. Seriously - its just prep work. I am either the most out of shape woman on the planet or I am old.

This morning I've made the kids breakfast, packed their lunches, dropped the kids at school - looked for the already missing lunchbox all over the school campus. I've made myself breakfast - started the dishwasher, finished caulking a window, textured the walls I patched. Started the laundry (YUCK!), taken out the trash. Its 9:23 am. I feel like a marine - you remember those commercials. We do more before 9 AM than you do all day. I hope it was the marines, maybe it was the army. For those of you that read regularly - you will know to say that I am not a morning person would be an understatement of vast proportions. I feel like I should get a nap, but I'm still wading through stuff all over the house. Maybe if I get off this computer I could actually accomplish the rest, maybe even bake a treat for the kids for when they get home.

Nah, my friend would say I'm scaring her and call me June Cleaver for a week.

While the kids are away....the mommies can play

It has been a little while since I posted last. One big change since the last time I posted:

THE KIDS ARE BACK IN SCHOOL!!!!!!

Holy Smokes it feels good. I'm trying to paint my bedroom - which has been a comedy of errors. Not that I'm screwing up its just every time I move a piece of furniture there is something else to patch, caulk or sand. Whoopee!

I have already been to the school 3 - that would be THREE - times today. Once for drop off, then off to a Bloody Mary party - I had a Mimosa (don't tell the principal). Then went back and organized school supplies. Brought home decodable readers that I tore out, folded and stapled. Sharpened pencils and went back up to the school to have lunch with both of my boys. Don't think I'm one of those over-achieving moms. I'm not. I'm more than happy to help out, of course it might be because I'm avoiding the mess that is my bedroom. I also am hoping that I'll be working soon and not have time to help out.

Who cares anyway, the kids are in school!!! The mommies can play again!

Maybe its a TOOMAH...

I think something is wrong with me. SERIOUSLY WRONG. I'm feeling lovey-dovey. Yes you heard me right. I want to hug people and talk to people. I actually wrote that I loved my husband on Facebook. How pathetic is that? I do love him despite his addiction to video games and horror flicks - both of which I could totally do without. Oh and his propensity to burp at the dinner table - sometime even burp a sentence. Yes, he communicates through burps, well sometimes.

I am sarcastic and strange. Creatively obnoxious and well just plain different. I AM NOT LOVEY-DOVEY. Although I am a hopeless romantic. Didn't see that coming did you?

Except for this break so far today, I am cleaning - I think I even hear birds chirping. You'd think I was in a disney movie, except there is no way I would look as good as Amy Adams in curtains or get birds, squirrels and cockroaches to help me clean. Wouldn't that be nice? I might even go grocery shopping on a Saturday. Just because.

Okay, maybe not.

I have volunteered to make school packets next week. Am thinking about cleaning out a closet oh, and I'm going to paint my bedroom. What the heck is wrong with me? SOMEONE BRING BACK DIJEA.

Dear Hanes:

I love the fact that you have come out with tagless t-shirts, underwear, etc., however I must say that your "tagless" underwear is not really tagless. WHAT?!?! you say? Its not - its a poorly designed (I really wanted to say crappy) iron-on patch that well, starts peeling after 1 washing and when it starts to peel - its starts to chafe. I'm just saying that there is a certain part of the anatomy you don't want chafing. I'm just saying that this is the reason I stopped wearing the really-really-really soft cotton underwear from gap body (which is really to die for) because their iron-on patch underwear started to chafe - now I am sad to say I purchasing some of yours just last month because I'd lost so much weight I went down a size in underwear (crowd cheers!!!!) I will have to dump them in a giant trash can because my I'm having a reaction to your peeling tagless underwear.

Feel free to fix it and send me some free ones, because I'm not buying ANY until I know they won't upset the delicate skin that is my sexy bum.

Thank you.
Me

I'll probably have to send a bottle of wine after this

I almost fainted a little while ago. Seriously fell out of my chair in shock after reading a friends Facebook update. She follows this blog, and will probably read this and its not like she didn't put this out there on Facebook so I'll cross my fingers I won't get in trouble for posting this...

SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO COLDPLAY IS.

Yes, you heard me right. I immediately offered to enroll her in the Dijea School of Music. I am known for coming up with obscure band that are then mainstream 6 months later. I La-la-love music and seriously need to burn her some CD's or something, but then I stop and I wonder if I actually did that would she listen? If she doesn't know who Coldplay is will she know other bands like Band of Horses or Keane, should I even try to introduce her to Chevelle or the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Maybe a little Ting Tings.

In her defense, she listens to NPR, but so does my mother and why anyone would want to learn things or stay updated in this incredibly depressing time is beyond me, but then I'm shallow and have no drive so I guess that is my answer.

What if she's never heard Radiohead or The Foo Fighters? OMG, Where are my smelling salts?

Why does this always happen to me?

There must be something wrong me - I know you've heard this before. Blah, Blah Blah Dijea is ranting again.

Well, I am.

I was suppose to go out of town today - leave the husband and take the kids to see Grandma & Papa. Well everything has gone to hell in a hand-basket. The SUV didn't get out of the shop, My phone has decided to absolutely stop working. Well, at least whenever it decides.

Just for the record this is the 4th iPhone I've had. FOURTH. My husband and I got ours at the same time. The first one I had to take back because it would never charge. Yippee!! The second one kept overheating and losing the touch pad. The third one had battery issues. Now this one is overheating and yesterday cut itself off. Completely. I didn't really want to go on a road trip with no phone. Understand? So instead I've fought with Apple for the better part of 3 hours over the stinking phone. I understand the warranty is for 1 year, but the phone I have is actually less than a year old, but apparently its out of warranty because the original one was bought more than a year ago. Does it make sense to you? Oh, and the supervisor was rude and said one of those impulsive we don't need your business kind of statements. NOT HAPPY! Not happy enough that I called corporate. I kinda feel bad, because he tried really hard to be nice he never raised his voice or anything, he just said the wrong thing at the wrong time then when I asked (more than once) for someone else, he refused to transfer me.

My husband never had a problem with his. I must be one of those people that has some weird magnetic issue. Timex watches never would work on me others yes, just not Timex. GGGGRRRRRRRRRRR! AGH! Any other noise that fits the mood, feel free to imagine.

Asserting Control or Just Stupidity

Can I just rant a little about Crosswalks, crossing the street & safety?

This morning I had to go to Walmart and had to fill up with gas on the way. 1st stop light I saw a couple - the husband was dragging the overweight and obviously handicapped wife across the street in the crosswalk. Why would I mention this - because it was against the light. What an idiot to literally drag a woman who is not capable of making fast time across the street against the light.

Then I got to the gas station and filled up and started to make my way to Walmart. Before I had fully exited the gas station there were two people crossing the street within 50 feet of the crosswalk. Seriously. Take a few steps and be safe. For that matter the little grey-haired grandma made me want to roll down the window and scream something about what a good example she was making for my children crossing in the middle of traffic not 20 ft. from the crosswalk. Instead I tried to avoid smashing her as she made her way across the street but not before she gave me a nasty look for not stopping and getting rear-ended by the big giant semi-barreling down upon me. Not a block down the road was another couple dragging their toddler across the street with them - seriously his feet were dragging against the asphalt - again 20 to 30 ft. down from the crosswalk in heavy traffic and against the light.

WHERE THE HELL DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM? DO THEY CARE SO LITTLE FOR THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO RISK THEIR LIFE OR DO THEY JUST EXPECT THE WORLD TO STOP FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN'T WAIT 30 SECONDS FOR THE LIGHT TO CHANGE OR 10 STEPS TO GET TO THE CROSSWALK?

I counted in my 5 mile round trip at least 25 people crossing against the light and NOT ONE was in the crosswalk. Jeez, has common sense just blown out the window with common courtesy, brains and I don't know what else?

I'm pissed and I don't care who knows it

I was reading CNN yesterday, in fact here is a link to the story, talking about how a size 10 is really a size 14. So if I've lost 15 lbs and am making my way down to a size 10/12 that means I'm really a 14 and the damn fashion industry is trying to make me "feel good" about being a 10, but I'm really a 14 and crap - that means I'm still fat.

UNACCEPTABLE!

We as a nation, me included, are relying more and more on technology to get everything done. We have more and more to do - aren't getting anything for all the extra work. Remember the days when there were no cell phones and if you weren't at home or in the office, people couldn't reach you. OMG I wish those days were back. I mean imagine going for a walk and the phone not ringing, or driving without the phone (or ear jack) at your ear. I can walk down the mall and search the Internet and forward a contract or a photo or whatever while I'm running my errands and I wonder why I forget everything all the time. BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS TRYING TO DO TO MUCH AT ONCE and I'm all elated that I'm 2 sizes smaller when instead of being a 14 to begin with I was an 18 which means HOLY CRAP I'd let myself go.

Once upon a time I was a skinny girl with protruding hip bones and a concave stomach and 20 lbs under my "ideal" weight on that doctor's office chart. Now I'm more than 30 lbs over that ideal weight on that chart and the scary part is I'm happy that I'm not 50 lbs over it.

I am overweight, I know it but I am trying really hard to get back to a healthy weight and in a healthy way. I know that its not easy. I know that some people have issues about losing weight. My mother & grandmother have hypothyroidism. My father has diabetes. I've spent time cooking stuff that makes me pork up like a balloon because its what the kids or The Husband want. I don't fault anyone for being overweight because I'm there. But what really, really pisses me off is there is instead of trying to deal with the increasing size of America we are trying to make everyone feel better about their self by changing the size.

When is you-know-what is America and the rest of the world going to wake up and realize its not all about feeling good. Changing sizes to make people feel better is not going to get them healthy. Bailing out the banks is not going to solve the economic problem. Socializing health care is not going to solve the insurance crisis. Building debt is not going to help our nation. Bailing failing companies out is also not going to solve the world problems. And Congress has additional screwed up a BIG deal with laws regarding real estate appraisals that will set real estate back which will set back the economy.

It is all a giant screw up. Seriously.

I'm pissed that what I thought was a big giant step forward on my way to skinny is just a big giant lesson in retail deception.

FUNKIFICATION

I have been living on Twitter and Facebook and not so much ignoring my blog, but have a general lack of inspiration in blogging. I think its a trend running around a few of my regular bloggers.

I am in a Funk - yes funk with a capital F. Blah.....Meh.....Ugh. I feel blank. That is awful isn't it. Blank, which could be twisted to sound empty. And I don't feel empty - blank is a better word. Kind of like a blank canvas just trying to figure out what's going on it. I've been walking a lot and feel good in a body/mind/spirit thing - I'm just lost on putting it into words. Maybe I'm just processing it all. Maybe I'm out of words, maybe I'm just like every other person out there just struggling to make sense of it all.

Well, cyber therapists.........any thoughts.

Insanity, Bread Making & Vegetables

Well, I think I've gone completely insane. Yes, insane. I am sitting here typing a little about my day just so I can share the insanity. Everyone knows its more fun to be crazy in a group than separate.

I'm baking bread. BREAD. That wonderful fluffy yeasty goodness. I talked to a friend on the phone last night and told her I was going to bake bread today she said I was scaring her. Could me baking bread be that scary. Well, here is some more scary things: I've just made more pickled cucumbers, I have dinner plate ready for tomato & mozzarella salad tonight.

OK, here it is I'm trying to go vegetarian. I'm not going to completely give up meat, but in this heat and my plateau in the weight-loss front I've decided to cut it almost out of my diet. A little chicken here and there - some turkey lunch meat every so often. I just don't feel like the heaviness of meat everyday. Basically I think its just too hot to stand over a stove or a grill and cook.

Did I miss a sign from God?

Yesterday, the City Council overwhelmingly passed what I think is the stupidest piece of legislation ever. It affects the 416 houses of my neighborhood effectively forcing our neighborhood to remain nothing but one-story homes. The people for this legislation in our neighborhood wanted to maintain the feel of the neighborhood. I'm amazed sometimes at people's mind sets. Don't they know that the "feel" of the neighborhood comes from the people not the architecture. But I guess some people were behind the door when common sense was handed out.

Anyway - while this meeting was going on I was making myself lunch. I had a pot on the stove and couldn't find my pot holder so I used a dishtowel to take the lid off the pot. Does anyone see what's coming? Yes, the dishtowel caught fire. It was pure luck I walked back in to see the flames shooting up the side of the pot and manage to grab the dishtowel and make it out the backdoor without any damage to the house or my body. The dishtowel however is toast.

Did God save me from burning down my house or was he trying to save me from living in a crazy neighborhood by burning my house down? I wonder if I'll ever know.

Too bad I didn't have my camera.

I just had the most amazing evening. After The Husband cooked fajitas for dinner I quickly changed clothes and went for a walk. The first two miles were a nasty sweaty hot mess, but I worked it good. Mile 3 was OK nice starting to cool off and I got a nice 1/2 mile in the shade and the next 1/2 mile was relaxing and over a bridge with a beautiful view. It wasn't until I hit the last two miles of the walk that it got so fabulous.

What is so fabulous you ask? Besides me typing this when I should be showering the stank off me. The most incredible sight of the sun.

It wasn't one of those incredible sunsets full of color that makes you think the earth is going to burst into flames. No, first the lake was covered in sailboats. And the boats glowed with the orange of the sun. Then, the building across the lake lit up like the tombstones in the Ansel Adams photograph. Then the last mile after the sun went behind the trees. Everything was the most amazing color. The water looked like a mosaic of only peach and blue dots. There was a mother duck and her ducklings. The ducklings were so small they had to be "just hatched". The breeze kicked in and dropped the temp about 5 degrees and the last 1/4 mile the water turned more grey/blue with just a touch of sunlight here and there. It was a truly beautiful end to the day.

Happy Father's Day!

Dear Dad:

I want to take this opportunity to again say I'm sorry I didn't' get a card in the mail. I am quite possibly the worst daughter in the world, but this is about you and not me.

You have always been the most fabulous Dad any girl cold ever hope for. I got my most prized possession from you - my dry sense of humor. I also got my crazy hair from you - I'm not sure whether that is good or bad - I guess that really depends on the humidity. You are an awesome role model, a great dad, a fabulous Grandpa and well all around nice guy.

I love you Daddy!

I should never participate in a drug trial.

EXCUSE ME, I THINK I'M WIRED WRONG!

You probably think I'm exaggerating don't you? Well I'm not and I'll tell you why. I feel like I could fall asleep standing up. Seriously. I am exhausted. My eyes are burning, I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep. The problem is that when I do that, my brain decides to turn on. No train of though last longer than 30 seconds. Except when I get a food craving and we don't have it in the pantry. I can drink coffee and go to sleep. Yes, extra caffeine will immediately send me off to sleep. My best sleep is after breakfast with about 3 or 4 cups of coffee on a Saturday morning.

And don't get me started on medicines.

Benadryl - makes me WIDE AWAKE and makes me rock back and forth like an autistic child and my skin crawls.

That nasty stuff that is suppose to make you stay awake that's in decongestants - will turn me into a zombie not quite asleep, but the walking dead. Drooling. If it doesn't contain that thing that starts with a p - it wires me out to where I talk so fast if you were my employer you would send me to be drug tested.

Vicodin/Oxycontin (or any other narcotic I've been prescribed for pain) WIDE AWAKE. You would think after taking a baby out of my abdomen or a chunk out of my boob, that I would have welcomed pain meds and gone to sleep. No instead I'm a wired mess and wide awake.

The medicine that's suppose to help with RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) that makes you go to sleep makes me grind my teeth into dust.

If its suppose to make you sleep, it keeps me awake. If its suppose to dull the pain, it makes my skin crawl. If its suppose to take the edge off its like sucking on a lifesaver.