Welcome to my 2011

Hello old friends.  I've missed my time here lately, I hope to be back here more often in 2011.  I'm going to be honest 2010 kinda sucked.  Why you asked? I actually spent time in the hospital for a reason other than birthing babies.  That was new to me.  My baby got smashed in the face by a 9 iron.  That was an experience.  Too many people died.  Too many people have been diagnosed with cancer ~ one very closer than you would think ~ but who prefers to remain anonymous.  Its not all bad, treatment for ANON has finished and quickly and outlook so far is very positive, but it affects you.  More than you realize.  Your office mate having cancer and a family member having cancer are two different things.  It makes you realize what is important, put things in perspective and unfortunately makes you tear up at the most inopportune times.

I'm starting another 365 project taking pictures and posting everyday.  Looking forward to getting back in the groove and creating something amazing.  I'm also addicted to Words with Friends.  Code name: dijea if you ever want to play......

My resolution for 2011:  Make somebody laugh every day.  Laughter is after all the best medicine.  Here's hoping that 2011 is pretty stinking fabulous!



I also noticed while finishing this post that somewhere I have a tag for underwear....I might need to go back and read that entry.  

Maybe its a TOOMAH...

I think something is wrong with me. SERIOUSLY WRONG. I'm feeling lovey-dovey. Yes you heard me right. I want to hug people and talk to people. I actually wrote that I loved my husband on Facebook. How pathetic is that? I do love him despite his addiction to video games and horror flicks - both of which I could totally do without. Oh and his propensity to burp at the dinner table - sometime even burp a sentence. Yes, he communicates through burps, well sometimes.

I am sarcastic and strange. Creatively obnoxious and well just plain different. I AM NOT LOVEY-DOVEY. Although I am a hopeless romantic. Didn't see that coming did you?

Except for this break so far today, I am cleaning - I think I even hear birds chirping. You'd think I was in a disney movie, except there is no way I would look as good as Amy Adams in curtains or get birds, squirrels and cockroaches to help me clean. Wouldn't that be nice? I might even go grocery shopping on a Saturday. Just because.

Okay, maybe not.

I have volunteered to make school packets next week. Am thinking about cleaning out a closet oh, and I'm going to paint my bedroom. What the heck is wrong with me? SOMEONE BRING BACK DIJEA.

The one where I shared too much...

It amazes me sometimes the cycles that life goes through. I am finding myself in a very contemplative state wondering what direction to go and which path to follow. Sometimes I feel like a caged bird that opened its cage and sometimes I feel like a dog chained to a spike - allowed some freedom but limited.

I want to explore something different - find my true space in the universe. I know that sound bizarre because I am over 40 and should know what that is, but I don't. I have spent my life accommodating others. That sounds ridiculous doesn't it? I followed a job path my mother thought was acceptable. I always was afraid of disappointing her. I didn't finish college because I kept being pointed in the business/accounting/teaching direction. I am NOT by any means a left brained individual, but for some reason I felt it was more important to please others than please myself. Not that my mother ever forced her ideas on me, I for some strange reason felt required to follow her hopes for me. Maybe its just a fear of failure, so I follow someone else's ideas I can't fail with my own.

Now I am stuck in a horrible position of not doing what I love. Or even exploring what I like. I have an obligation to my family, one that will always come first as they are the most important people in my life. My husband, although a loud snoring individual, loves me and I want nothing more than to return that love in every way imaginable. My kids are a constant source of joy - even when arguing about who got more snacks or "special time" or who that stupid toy belongs to. My husband would absolutely let me try anything I want - he's that kind of guy. I thank my lucky stars I married him, even though he has an unhealthy obsession with video games and a rather off-color sense of humor and is as quick to temper as I am. I kind of like that off-color sense of humor, not so much the crazy songs he makes up.

I just wish that the economy wasn't so screwed up. That I didn't see the government making incredibly dumb decisions everyday. Where is it that we have to write all this extra crap into bills? Can't we just say NO and do only 1 thing at a time. I feel like we need to rebel against all the excess and just take it one thing/day at a time. I wish I could just do what I wanted instead of being responsible for so much. Yes, I'm trying to avoid cleaning the bathroom. Can you tell? It just frustrates the hell out of me to see so much crap being flung around in the name of all that is good in the world.

I find myself being pulled in a different direction. I've been walking and listening to some incredible music that puts me in a creative mindset. I've lot 10 lbs, I feel better, I want to just be me and not worry about responsibilities so much. Other than those I have to my husband and my kids. Its not that easy. Enjoy life and maybe, just maybe everything will fall into place.

Trail Blazing - Its not for sissies.

I hate snakes, I H-A-T-E them.  That might not be a very politically correct statement, but in my case, its a true statement.  True pretty much trumps anything "politically correct".  That being said, I'm going to tell you about my day beginning with the night before.  And no it does not involve THAT.  Get you head out of the gutter.

Yesterday, I picked up my kids from school and to make a long story short - my youngest's teacher seems to be picking on him.  Apparently she called him "slow".  Now this would piss off any normal parent, but me - I pretty much am so overprotective of H2 that my husband usually has to tell me to back off.  He's remarkable. He's wonderful, but starting from day one (and I mean conception) he's had a rough ride.  He was lacking amniotic fluid in the womb, he was born 5 weeks premature, he is legally blind without corrective lenses, he has fused teeth (don't ask) and a tendency to be a klutz.  He gets that last part from me.  

Anyway I am seething, mad, whatever you want to call it these days and just couldn't let it go, so I took myself to the gym - I mean I should make this work for me right?  So after cooking a really healthy dinner, I took myself to the gym to work off my anger.  Apparently it worked.  I came home, took a shower and after putting my little angels to bed, I crawled in bed to watch a previously recorded episode of House and didn't even make it through the first 30 minutes.  I didn't finish my wine either.  A major sin I know - I am still working on penance.  So after sleeping with the television on for about 4 hours I cut it off, rolled over and WOKE UP.  All I could do was argue with various members of the staff and little H2's school.  

Apparently in this giant mess, I failed to bring my phone in to the bedroom.  It doubles as my alarm clock so when it went off this morning I basically didn't hear it for a bit and then OH CRAP! that's the alarm, where is my phone, etc. etc. etc.  I hauled everyone out of bed and somehow we made it out and to the evil elementary school.  I parked and walked the kids up which confused them because I normally drop them at the curb.  I told them I had to drop off something and parked myself outside of the counselor's door.  We had a nice talk, I made the comment that the teacher was not following the guidelines that we had set for my visually impaired child and that she was calling him derogatory names that were prejudicial to his handicap.  Do you like that prejudicial to his handicap?  I was kind of proud of myself for that.  Anyway she promised to do something - I gave her a week.  The principal was gone today and I am promised a phone call by tomorrow.  We'll see how that goes. 

I then of course had to "de-stress" so I took my fancy camera and off I went to the arboretum.  Can't be made surrounded by gorgeous gardens and flowers.  It just doesn't work.  Then I ran over to the lake and went exploring in the fish hatchery again.  Did some trail blazing, Yippee!  The problem with that was that I walked into a nest of snakes.  Yes, I said that a nest of baby snakes.  I think I actually broke the record for the standing long jump, but as there was no one there to actually measure the jump I will never get the credit I deserve.  I mean I jumped about 1/2 a football field, or just a little less, but it was far.  REAL FAR. 

 You must check my photo blog, there will be some good stuff popping up for a while.  I enjoyed myself there too.  I came home only to eat and do a quick clean up and got a fabulous idea to take the kids back to the arboretum for an afternoon of frolicking, it was after all a balmy 70 degrees today.  I packed up a few snacks all three cameras and some shorts and T-shirts for them to change into.

We walked everywhere and they spent a good 30 minutes rolling down the soft green grass hill and laughing.  It was a wonderful afternoon.  One I'll have to repeat soon.  And my day was wonderful if you don't count anything before 9 AM.  

Welcome, 2009

I hate resolutions - nobody ever keeps them.  I resolve no resolutions.  I am determined to lose the excess poundage I have not gotten rid of since the birth of my two sons.  I'm not exactly sure the best method, but I'm going to attempt first by starting to exercise.  Once I have that routine down, I will change my food intake.  Sound good?  I hope.  I've started a blog for my weight loss journal.  A place for me to be true to my task - keep up with my exercise, weight and keep a food log and maybe some good recipes I find.  I've made it private for now, but if you need a laugh or are on the same journey - I'll be happy to extend an invitation.

I also want to be happier.  I'm kind of a worry wart - kind of my a$$, I am the QUEEN of Worry!  True story.  So, hopefully that can get worked on too.  I want to be more calm, I want to be healthier and more accepting.  I'd like to work on my writing more and explore the spirituality that has been lacking over the past few years.  These are not things that can be changed overnight or by yourself, so I know that it will be a long process, but turning 40 last year awakened something in me that I just can't explain and I don't want to drift anymore, I want purpose.  So I shall find purpose and drive and determination by exploring the world around me until it all falls into place.  The husband loves me, wants me to be happy and is always willing to let me do or try so I'm finally going to take him up on it.

Wish me luck!  I also challenge you to explore something new in your life - whatever it may be and find a new peace, a new obsession or even a new plane of awareness.  

ZERO BALANCE

I just paid off our credit cards.  OMG!  I have no credit card debt.  This is amazing.  I feel clean again.

Crap, Tagged again.

I have been tagged by the Unstable Blogger in honor of Sex, Lies and Videotape and/or The Moment of Truth. Confess 5 things then pick 5 people to post their confessions. They will post their 5 things and pick 5 people and so on and so on and so on.You can use whatever format you want but please let your 5 people know you chose them by going to their blog to comment or emailing them or whatever blows up your skirt. 

Here are my confessions:

1. My husband is my Lord and Master - (this is my paid confession UB)  Ha! Ha! I really wear the pants, this is just so I can get some later.
   
2. I am having a hard time coming up with confessions that I am comfortable with my mother reading.
3. I went out with a TV Sportscaster (only once) - he now looks like a very old and non-sexy Pee-Paw.  We all make mistakes.  
4. I secretly indulge in FFF (Full Frontal Fridays) on Crazy Days & Nights.
5. I once sat at a bar and had a drink with Dennis Rodman.  

I tag anyone and everyone who will do this.