There is never enough padding.

I have a sensitive backside. What can I say - I'm a tough old bird, until it comes to my a**. I went bike riding Sunday, to the lake, then around the lake. I crapped out and decided that I couldn't make it up the big giant hill to come home. My husband was kind enough to come and pick me up and take me home - YEA HUSBAND! I'm pretty sure that I won't get that treatment a second time.

I've got a new back tire and today I went and got a big giant gel seat. It has been hell the past two days sitting on anything other than a pillow. Because my cheeks are still a little sensitive, I have a gel pad over the gel seat. I hope that will protect my precious trunk.

I'm going to start riding the lake a couple times a week in addition to my walking, so I can get the remainder of my baby weight off. I've gotten off 20 lbs so far. I'm looking forward to getting another 20 off.

Wish me luck.

My peaceful place

I like to walk the lake by the house. Its nice, peaceful. I saw a Duck with her ducklings coming out of the grass by the side of the lake. How can anyone's blood pressure go up while looking at this? Seriously. As I continued around the lake I walked thru the Fish Hatchery. I hadn't gone 50 yards into the hatchery when I saw this. OMG - I'm obsessed with dragonflies so I feel like this shot was a coup. Not my best - but, do you know how fast those suckers can be?

I saw this tree and it made me laugh. It looks like its crossing its legs. Have 2 Pee?

I also hadn't been through the hatchery since spring has well, sprung. I forgot how green and overgrown it can get. I had on cropped work-out pants and will probably end up with poison something. Below you can see my peaceful place. I love overgrown green spots. IT MAKES ME HAPPY! It lowers my blood pressure it makes me want to twirl around with my arms wide open and say thank you for such a beautiful scene. It was a cloudy day and it really was this dark. I was waiting for the fairies to come out - I guess they were hiding. I must not have been fairy worthy today.

I managed a full 5 miles around the lake, took about 200 photos. There a definitely a few frame-able. I'm kind of stingy with my really really good photos. I don't' know why - I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I know that is what I would eventually like to focus on, so I save them "just-in-case". But the better ones are on the photo blog. I just hope someone sees them and appreciates them and sees the beauty I do or even the beauty I don't.

Hope the world has a good week - I'm off to get a gauzy skirt and some Birkenstocks. Ok screw the Birkenstocks they are ugly. I'll get some Keene's.

Welcome, 2009

I hate resolutions - nobody ever keeps them.  I resolve no resolutions.  I am determined to lose the excess poundage I have not gotten rid of since the birth of my two sons.  I'm not exactly sure the best method, but I'm going to attempt first by starting to exercise.  Once I have that routine down, I will change my food intake.  Sound good?  I hope.  I've started a blog for my weight loss journal.  A place for me to be true to my task - keep up with my exercise, weight and keep a food log and maybe some good recipes I find.  I've made it private for now, but if you need a laugh or are on the same journey - I'll be happy to extend an invitation.

I also want to be happier.  I'm kind of a worry wart - kind of my a$$, I am the QUEEN of Worry!  True story.  So, hopefully that can get worked on too.  I want to be more calm, I want to be healthier and more accepting.  I'd like to work on my writing more and explore the spirituality that has been lacking over the past few years.  These are not things that can be changed overnight or by yourself, so I know that it will be a long process, but turning 40 last year awakened something in me that I just can't explain and I don't want to drift anymore, I want purpose.  So I shall find purpose and drive and determination by exploring the world around me until it all falls into place.  The husband loves me, wants me to be happy and is always willing to let me do or try so I'm finally going to take him up on it.

Wish me luck!  I also challenge you to explore something new in your life - whatever it may be and find a new peace, a new obsession or even a new plane of awareness.  

I still haven't lost any weight.

I still haven't lost any weight. I have hit the gym a few times a week - I've been on the treadmill for about 45 minutes each time. I have been working in the yard, pulling weeds, I've cut sodas, alcohol out of my daily life. You would think I would have lost something, but NOOOOOOOOOO.

I swear I could do nothing but fast and gain weight. I promise you I have a thyroid the size of a pin head, its not working, but all my tests are normal. NORMAL. Who cares that my hair is falling out, I'm tired all the time and every other symptom that is listed I have, but apparently my body has just turned against me and I will be forced to do something awful like actually break a sweat. Seriously, I sweat just walking out the door in this Texas heat, I mean I will actually have to - oh I can't say it - seriously work out. Like sit-up & push-up work outs, like crunches and lunges and evil things like that. It's not like I'm opposed to that. I would do it everyday if I had some hot, buff guy (or even some hot buff girl) come and be my own personal trainer and make me do this everyday. If I had a nanny that would come and watch my kids and miraculously make them clean their playroom while I'm doing this. I would be working out all the time. They could be mean and shout insults at me if it would just motivate me to workout. I would go spend a month with Harvey from Celebrity Fit Club and he could make me do all sorts of disgusting exercises and I would if it would make me get into a size 8.

Even if that happened, I would probably still be sitting here at 187 lbs in a size 14/16. I just can't lose any weight and its beginning to piss me off. My husband on the other hand goes once a week, and has lost 10 lbs. That you-know-what!!! Its NOT FAIR. I've got to do something or I'm going to go off the deep end and eat like ever piece of chocolate in the Super Target down the street or buy out Godiva.

Random, Random, Random

OK, thank goodness for the invention of Tivo or the DVR or whatever it is we use.  I could not keep up with either Grey's Anatomy or Lost tonight, because it is the first game of the Dallas Stars VS the Detroit Red Wings.  Important Stuff!!!!!  I could forgo any sport except Hockey.  I prefer Hockey to anything, yes, its a little harder to follow the puck than say a basketball, but 1)  Hockey guys have better bodies.  True Fact.  2)  There is a higher chance for blood than in almost any other sport - except boxing & cage fighting. and 3)  I get to listen to Razor.  His superlatives are unique & inventive and hockey is not the same without Razor as color analyst.  

I will work out again today.  A little walking and upper body weights.  Ye Haw!!!  I know you can barely stand it.  I picked up the boys today.  I sweated entirely too much for it being still the first part of May.  I'm starting to think its body weight that is causing it and not temperature.  I seriously don't feel fat and unattractive, but I know that I need to lose weight so applaud my effort.

I also got all the random paperwork I've been piling up intending to file in the actual file cabinet.  And in hanging folders with labels.  I feel like I actually accomplished something.  Now if I can just quit drinking Dr. Peppers.  I made the stupid mistake of buying a case at Costco.  S-T-U-P-I-D.  I guess when they are gone they are gone and I'm not buying anymore.  

MMMM Water.

Next job PERSONAL TRAINER

So the whole "diet" thing is working so well.  Can you just see the sarcasm dripping from the page?  I did walk today. WALK.  I'm smoking up the asphalt.  I read all these blogs about people running marathons, 20 miles in a day, or working out constantly.  I walked - I'm so bad - for a whole 1/2 an hour.  I guess if you don't do anything then that's an improvement.  Right?  Well, let me add on little thing to that I did it in Earth shoes.  Know what those are?  They are shoes with a "negative heel".  Basically these shoes make your heel lower than the ball of your feet.  

The first 1/2 of the walk all I could think was I am going to have charlie-horses all night.  I'm going to wake up every thirty minutes screaming and clutching my calves.  Then after they got good and stretched I kept thinking how hot my legs were going to look - ya, and I'm going to turn into Haley Berry in a skin tight cat suit.  (that was for you husband).  

Anyway, I made an effort, even if it wasn't much.  I also cleaned closets, and re-arranged stuff in my house, so I wasn't a complete potato today. I am also going to make the effort at least 5 times a week and include other forms of cardio (ya right, walking is cardio) and doing a little weights, yoga/pilates and whatever else I can think of.  

I've said it, now I have to do it

I have made a promise to myself - scary huh? I am going to lose weight. I've said this before, but I want a new wardrobe, and my cheap self cannot justify it unless it is a necessity. Dropping a few sizes will justify it. Also the excessive walking I did in New Zealand kind of jump started me. I want this so maybe if I put it in writing and hold myself accountable I will be forced to do something about it.

I weigh 185 pounds. YES, I said 185 lbs and am a size 14. Although that is the size Marilyn Monroe wore, I don't want to wear it anymore. I don't feel fat, I'm tall so at least I'm proportioned. I still have a noticeable waist, I'm just thicker than I used to be. I want to lose 40 lbs, but will be happy just to get down to that lovely size 10 - an 8 would be perfect, but I will settle for the 10. I was a size 4 when I got married, but that and my perky you-know-whats are long behind me.

Here's where I need help. I need some ideas for more "fun" (is that even possible) exercises. I ran track back in the day, but my knees are shot and running won't be on the list. I will try to put walking into my rotation as well as biking. This is something I can do with the children over the summer. Sit-ups (oh, I might just start vomiting right now), push-ups, what else? Did I mention I'm not a big fan of exercising (or is it sweating I don't like)?

Anyone trying to do this? Has anyone had success at anything? Can you recommend a good plastic surgeon? HA!HA! I don't want to go on a diet really, just make more lifestyle changes like cutting out sodas and switching to whole grains and fresh/organic produce. I will take any advice you can give me. I am also going to do the Push-Up Throwdown that Krista did, maybe that will kick start me working on my core.

I've thrown it out there - now I have to do something. Pray I survive myself.

NO KIDS TODAY!

Yea, first day in way too long I don't have children at home.  Thank goodness school is back in session.  I took advantage of it and worked out.  I am now really sore because I haven't done it in a while.  

I have a teacher conference this afternoon - I called it she didn't.  Mr. Big Shot is getting some orthodontics done and will have a slight speech problem for a while, so I thought I would attack it head on.  His birthday is coming up soon too and I have no idea what to do for him.  I was going to take him to see the Foo Fighters, but I think his uncle gave the tix away.  :(

I'm in a happy glowy mood today as well, because my husband loves me.  I know that he loves me everyday, he just spent a little extra time with me last night.  Its always nice to be appreciated.  

Reward thyself!

Like a good girl, instead of curling up and doing nothing I unwedged myself from the dinner table and went to work out. I somehow managed to burn a killer 393 calories in my 30 minute workout. My first thought as I am walking out the door is I should reward myself with a coke. I haven't had one for two whole months except for the plane ride to & from Vegas because I have a little motion sickness thing going. My second thought is well, I can have a glass of wine without guilt.

Somewhere I have to get it in my head that to lose weight, I actually have to stop doing those bad things, no sugar, no coke, no wine, no white bread - I refuse to totally give up carbs - except I did sneak in a few flour tortillas yesterday.

Anyway, somehow I came to my senses and decided to order some books online. I figured if I workout I deserve a little lie down with a good book. Just please don't make me feel guilty that they are not what sophisticated people would call "literature" they are popular fiction & chick lit. A girl gotta have her vices right!

442 Calories gone just like that.

So I mentioned before that I was doing a Curves "Upgrade" to Curves Smart. Well, I went in all excited to get my tests done so that I could start my program - seriously I should have know when I got excited over a test that something was wrong. Anyway, Lady Carol did my range of motion and whatever the other thing was and off I went on my merry workout way.

The whole system is suppose to work with you on resistance and range of motion and let you know when you are working out efficiently, by giving you a green light, or not efficiently, by giving you a red light. I got some orange lights, mostly green, but all I know is I worked out harder and am more worn out that I have ever been after working out.

Then when you are finished you go scan your ID & see what you accomplished. I did 100% (When do I, Dijea, ever do 100%?) and I burned 442 calories. Yea!!! I'm so excited. Now in the big scheme of things I don't know if 442 calories is a lot, but all I know is my shoulders hurt, and I still haven't stopped sweating, or drank enough water.

I need a nap! But housework is calling me as both boys have friends coming over after school.