Its all about me, well mostly

I can’t come up with the right word to explain my mindset today.  I don’t have a beef with anyone today – I’m not frustrated or mad.  I don't have an agenda.  I feel contemplative and very creative today but that doesn’t mean I will actually create anything.

I did however perform a feat today that any mom out there would be proud of.  I got an appointment with an ENT this afternoon that I made this morning – you are thinking what’s so great about that.  I’ll tell you.  HE’S A NEW PATIENT.  Yes, I got a new patient exam in less than 24 hours.  No, he’s not a crappy doctor or new to the area looking for patients.  He’s well established in his 50’s with an excellent reputation.  My youngest son has seen him since he was 9 months old, the oldest one never has.  I am amazed that I got that done.

The wee one has a sinus infection and was running a 102 degree fever on Sunday.  He stayed home Monday & Tuesday from school.  Big Shot stayed home Tuesday with a swollen tonsil, but now the other one has gotten HUGE so we are off to the ENT as  he tested negative for strep & the flu.  Yes, I might be a little overprotective, but heck on a scale of 1 to 4 one tonsil is a 4 (touching the uvula) and the other is a 2 and now they are covered in sores.  YUCK! 

The Husband has been surprisingly attentive, frisky even.  I think he might be under some Alien Mind Control, but that is a whole different post.

I am just Dijea today and enjoying it.  It’s not everyday that we truly get to be ourselves.  I won’t get to be Dijea long as I get to get the kids out of school early for the doctor, but I have a few hours to be me so I guess I should go enjoy.

Pantipalooza----Dijea's idea.....

I have been thinking about Pantipalooza.  Mindy has the best explanation but here's the short version...chose some woman, women or a women's group that can benefit from something you can donate or do and then...you DO it.

The Dream:

If I didn't have to worry about money I would go buy a duplex or a four-plex and lease out (for free) the units to battered women and their children so they could get back on their feet and get established before they go back out into "the real world".  They would be required to get a job, but rent and all utilities would be covered so they would have the time to save money, buy what they need or didn't take with them and have some cushion for later.  Sounds good huh?  I will do this one day, but until I am rolling in the dough I will have to come up with another idea.

Real Life:

Well real life is just a tad bid harder.  I try to do things all the time when I can.  I will buy a meal for a hungry man/woman on the street.  No, I don't give them money, but I will walk to the nearest food place and buy them a meal.  I have handed over toys & food over Christmas, I have donated clothes and slightly worn school uniforms to those in need.  I've donated coats to coat drives.  I think that I will not mark a schedule, I will not set a date or a recipient.  Instead I will look every day for that someone that is in need right there and come to the rescue.  I like the surprise.  Why can't it be Pantipalooza everyday?

Hi I'm Dijea, the Klutz of 2009.

I have become a klutz of gigantic proportion.  We all know about my sacroiliac joint issue.  Yea!  Well, Wednesday we had an ice day so everyone was home.  I decided to tackle the kids closet.  Talk about disaster area.  Well, as I was taking things down from the top shelf a power cord that I didn't know was up there with one of the biggest boxes known to man on the end fell - wait for it - on my foot.  I swear it weighed 50 lbs, it was probably closer to 5 but still heavy for a six foot fall onto your foot.  Its still sore.  I have a blueish purple bruise about the size of a Hershey's Miniature right above my three middle toes.  The yellow bruise goes almost all the way to the ankle.  My husband is making fun of me for become the klutz of 2009 and while its a title, its not one I want to hold.  It is also putting the weight loss thing back.  UGH! 

On a positive note, I did get out with the camera and went trekking through the Old Fish Hatchery by White Rock Lake.  I didn't have enough time to really spend in there, but I did get a few good pictures and you'll be seeing them pop up on the old photo blog.  Take a peek.

I'm putting my foot down

I must be the most ineffective parent on the face of the planet.  Seriously.  My kids don't listen to me.  They don't.  I know all of you moms are going to tell me that no kids listens and that I'm just imagining this. No, I'm not.  I think I'm going to have a household meeting tonight so that I can be informed on why they don't listen.  I figure give them the opportunity to tell me how I can do it better is probably a horrible thing for me, but it might actually help them.  Or maybe I will find there is not enough Xanax on the planet and I'll go live in the world of therapist for the rest of the year or until the insurance runs out.  Either way someone is going to make a point tonight. 

Please let it be me.  Please!

I was dumped!

Apparently for no reason I can see - I got dumped.  Yes, dumped.  One of my followers of my blog and my twitter account dumped me.  

Did I offend you or was I just one blog too many?

Hmm, I guess we'll never know.  Well, just so you know, I was going to be really funny/insightful/witty and so many other things.  So remember, you will be missing out - not me. 

I still feel like I was dumped.

Promise not to laugh?

If you've been reading my blog lately, you will know that my back has been hurting.  Lower left right above my well, you know.  I finally got to the doctor today and he tells me I have a sacroiliac joint strain.  So he gives me some pills, tells me if its not better in two weeks come back we'll get a shot.  Blah, blah, Blah.  I tell him you know I don't do pills well - he says I won't have any trouble with these.  

Do I believe him? Of course not, he's only my doctor.  So what do I do?  I call one of my best friends (a pharmacist) who knows me better than anyone.  Especially my insane reactions to most medications.  She also keeps me informed when I do have a prescription what I can and can't have while on the meds (wine).  So I tell her what the doctor says and before I can even tell her the meds he gave me she bursts out laughing.  Hysterically laughing.  "So you broke your butt?" she says.  

I have survived this weekend - so far.

Well, I have so far survived the over-scheduled weekend.  We had a sleepover on Friday night as E turned 8.  I can't believe I have an 8 year old.  Saturday we had pictures for E's basketball team - although I took the pictures.  I am not a portrait photographer.  NOT AT ALL.  Candid party shots - yes.  I rock at nature.  Taking pictures of squirming 8 year olds is not an easy task.  So I feel I failed at that.

H2 had a birthday party Saturday afternoon.  Survived.  And then The Husband and I had a couples baby shower Saturday night.  I took some fun candid shots of that.  In fact I took almost a hundred.  Scary!  I came home from the shower to find H2 snoring like 90 year old man.  He tends to get colds and suffers from allergies.  We are now fighting the snots with vitamin C, steamy showers, ENTSOL and whatever else I can come up with.  Nose spray before bed tonight that's for sure.  He also gets to watch movies all day - to keep him quiet and let me tell you he is not complaining.  It also got me out of the Sunday birthday party for one of E's classmates.  Daddy has that duty.  

I went to the grocery store quite quickly today, but got lots of fruits, some OJ and lunch supplies for the week.  Oh, and fresh sausages from Central Market.  Are you ready?  Bacon & Onion pork sausages.  MMMM.  I hope the doctor doesn't check my cholesterol on Tuesday.  I have an appointment because well, my back hurts.  After nothing being found on an MRI I had Thursday (thank you Husband),  I am going to my GP to see if he can figure out why my back is killing me.  Its been bothering me for about 3 months now.  It was just an annoyance until about 3 weeks ago, now sitting is excruciating and when I first get up and start moving.  It feels better once I get going but as soon as I sit or just stand still. UGH!   I can only lay flat on my back too.  Not exactly my favorite, but I'll survive.  Wish me luck - and a diagnosis.  Not some crappy "guess" a serious diagnosis and a fix.  Not meds - we all know I don't do good with pills (except Xanax).  

Off to do laundry so we have clean underwear & socks.  Oh, and I'm down 4 lbs since January 1st.  YEA!

OMG, I got an award and from Royalty.

So, Mindy - the ever fabulous Princess of Everything, gave me an award.  ME.  Can you believe it?  I feel like Scarlett saying "Little ole me."  Of course I don't have any ringlets - thanks to my flat iron, and no hoop skirts THANK THE LORD.  But I could look good in curtains.

Anywho, She awarded me with something so special you can't buy it - what is it you ask?  The gift of Friendship.  Its pretty much up there with sliced bread.  My job, is to award 8 people with the same award (I chose to make my own rules - I have 9).  Well now let me think...  

These women are all my friends.  Yes friends - even if they haven't sat in my living room.  Oh and in no particular order....

1. The Unstable Blogger.  Yes, she is so my friend.  Probably separated a birth because we suffer from some of the same problems - different causes, but same crap.  She makes me laugh, makes me look at men with masks in a whole different light.  One day we will actually meet as we live close enough.  She does have my cell phone number, we tweet and is listed on Facebook as my friend too.  But I can't tell you which one she is, I am sworn to secrecy.
2. Nicole.  She is me 15 years ago and now all at the same time.  She's awesome, throws out an inspiring quote here and there.  Is way overachieving - but its one of the reason I love reading her blog.  
3. Rach.  OK, finally someone else understands my Skewed View (He! He! He!).  Oh, and she's got an obsession with cemeteries (while mine is more dead people) but its all connected.  Oh and she paints and takes pictures and has been delving into the world of poetry.  I can hang with all of that, except the painting.  Why you ask? I can't draw a stick man that's why.  I would have to be more abstract like Jackson Pollock.  
4. Abby.  Sweet, sweet Abby.  She thinks I'm funny which sometimes concerns me.  Most people don't get my humor, but she does and she's way to sweet to understand my jaded warped world.  But she does and I LOVE HER!  Yes, I do.  
5. The Smirking Cat.  She is wise beyond her years and one hell of a step-mom.  Smart too.
6. Random Chick.  You rock my world.  You can make me laugh over dead boiled chicken heads like no one else can.  And although you are only a recent discovery in my blogging world you will not be fleeting.
7. Krista - my first Internet blogging connection. Seriously ladies my first.  I was a blog friend virgin until Krista.  But I've found some fabulous music thanks to her, read a few good books, donated to a good cause and enjoyed some late night lost marathons.  Oh and did I tell you she loves cats.  CATS.  She's just plain awesome and one of the best writers.  
8. Bunny Bunster. Best word associations ever (and its time for a new one isn't it?) - oh and she loves shoes and she makes grape jelly.  And so much more.  
9. Princess Mindy.  I don't know if I'm allowed to award you back, but its my blog and I'll do it if I want to.  She's fabulous and crafty and I'm going to steal her dog one day.  I am.  Yes, you are l#9, but I was just saving the best for last - you befriended me first after all  But friends - she's not on my Facebook.  Maybe she just forgot.   

 

itshappeningagain

Imhavinganotheroneofthosedays.Myspacebarismissingagain.EverthingseemstoberunningtogetherandIfeellikeI'monagiantrollercoasterthatdoesn'tstop.Ever.

IthinkIneedtogotobedbuteverythingisstillrunningaroundmybrainandIcan'tmakeitstop.

All better now.

I accomplished sosososo much today.  I cleaned the kitchen, the den, the dining room, the living room, vacuumed, swept, mopped - even dusted.  Finished the laundry - I still need to fold, but who's perfect. 

My back is still killing me, and I still think the next door neighbor is a totally lunatic lacking in common sense and courtesy, but I'm not really angry anymore.

I think I'm also opening a bottle of wine.  If its not fixed now, it will be in few.

Sometimes I just wish to be anonymous.

Well, today is not working out any better than yesterday.  My neighbor with the underdeveloped sense of smarts and common sense decided it would be a good idea to run his sprinklers 1st thing in the morning when the temperature was below freezing.  Oh, did I mention it flooded our drive way - about 30 feet of our driveway.  He doesn't seem to understand that when water pours off of your yard it is fully saturated.  Here's to keep hoping that he learns before my house sinks.

This blog has always been an outlet for me, but at the moment I would love to hide under some anonymous umbrella and just let loose.  I am unable to do that at the moment and it sucks because I could really use some objective unsolicited advice, because we all know the best advice is unsolicited.  I need answers for questions I can't ask here and didn't get answered elsewhere.  Life sometimes just hands you crap.

I don't feel good.  My back is completely killing me.  I can barely stand to sit in the chair and type this because I have shooting pains up my back and numbness going down my leg.  I have a friend - a most wonderful lady - that is having surgery for breast cancer on Friday that has been occupying my thoughts.  Please feel free to say a prayer.  I'm sure I've made my husband mad with all the stupid crap with the neighbor.  He's gotten the wave of anger I feel all by himself and I'm sorry for that.  I feel frustrated and alone.  I'm in pain.   And I just want to go to bed and forget the world for about an hour, unfortunately there is laundry to do, toilets to clean and a lot of hardwoods to mop.  So enjoy your day, pray I can use my anger for good and not evil (that means burn it all up cleaning the house and not pouting in the corner) and that I figure out something for dinner.  

Ciao.

Inspiration needed....

Today has been a complicated day for me.  I have a little stress surprisingly not attributed to the husband, in fact said husband has actually got my back today.  I love you honey!  I need a little inspiration. Seriously guys inspiration.  You would think as the Inspiration Chair for the PTA I would be full of inspiration.  But my quotations, and stories are kind of not what I need.  

Don't freak out when I write this but, I need the Lord to work through other people.  Yes, I don't often talk about God, or my spirituality - but I do have it - its just mine.  So i-friends get to work and send me a quote that will uplift my spirit, my mind and my attitude.  Because we all know he works in mysterious ways.  It doesn't have to be a Bible quote, just something that means something to you and it might give me what I need.   Someone out there has it, just pass it along and I will be thankful. 

This is the question.....

or not to pee.

Welcome, 2009

I hate resolutions - nobody ever keeps them.  I resolve no resolutions.  I am determined to lose the excess poundage I have not gotten rid of since the birth of my two sons.  I'm not exactly sure the best method, but I'm going to attempt first by starting to exercise.  Once I have that routine down, I will change my food intake.  Sound good?  I hope.  I've started a blog for my weight loss journal.  A place for me to be true to my task - keep up with my exercise, weight and keep a food log and maybe some good recipes I find.  I've made it private for now, but if you need a laugh or are on the same journey - I'll be happy to extend an invitation.

I also want to be happier.  I'm kind of a worry wart - kind of my a$$, I am the QUEEN of Worry!  True story.  So, hopefully that can get worked on too.  I want to be more calm, I want to be healthier and more accepting.  I'd like to work on my writing more and explore the spirituality that has been lacking over the past few years.  These are not things that can be changed overnight or by yourself, so I know that it will be a long process, but turning 40 last year awakened something in me that I just can't explain and I don't want to drift anymore, I want purpose.  So I shall find purpose and drive and determination by exploring the world around me until it all falls into place.  The husband loves me, wants me to be happy and is always willing to let me do or try so I'm finally going to take him up on it.

Wish me luck!  I also challenge you to explore something new in your life - whatever it may be and find a new peace, a new obsession or even a new plane of awareness.