I just want to have the worry that clouds my mind on a daily basis to blow out the window so that my vision is clear again. I want to be funny, I want to worry less, I want more experiences than I want more things. I just have to get there.
Although I have been purging stuff from my home and my life, I haven't really begun to skim the surface of what needs to be done. Somewhere somehow I need to chart my path and then start walking. Some of its lack of motivation, probably due to depression. I rarely find myself at the bottom of the bipolar spectrum, but I have hit it big time. I am soooo much more fun manic. Truly I am. I want to help my friends too. I know I'm not the only one having issues, but I feel that I have to figure out my own before I can get to the next step so now I've found I'm not as good a friend as I usually am.
It may take me a little while to get back to where I need to be. Maybe over the holidays my spirit will lift. What I really need is to stomp my foot like a two year old and say my - time that is, and just take it for myself. But the questions is will I do it?