The Factor Tree

I am a BZZAGENT.  I review products, websites etc. and was recently offered a trial membership at The Factor Tree through BzzAgent.  My kids took the intial tests and were quite captivated by it.  They spent a while getting tested for the right skill level and told me they couldn't wait to get on it again.  Honestly, between Thanksgiving and Hannukah holidays as well as school commitments, we haven't been back on.  But I think it is a truly worth the time and effort to check out.  And below you can get a two week free trial.  Don't hesitate to check it out.


Use "BZZAGENT" for a 2-week trial at thefactortree.com, the better way to teach kids math! http://u.bzz.com/c252h

HOLYSMOKES!

OMG!Ihaven'tbeenaroundinawhile.Schoolisinsane.Iamsick.Theoldestchildissick.Husbandisannoying.Busy.Busy.Busy.Ican'tkeepgoinglikethisorIwillendupinthenuthouse.WhatkindofnutamIthatIchosetoobligatemyselflikethis?AGH!IAMGOINGCRAZY.

The glass is half full

Today is a good day.  I find I am having more and more good days, with better overall attitude.  It really is a mindset.  Get up and tell yourself its going to be a good day.  When life offers you a choice, take the positive one - especially if that choice is an emotional one.

Its so much more fun to be happy than sad.  While I've always considered myself an optimist, I haven't always portrayed myself that way and I'm trying more and more every day to put forth the image I have in my mind.  Its not always easy, but more and more I'm succeeding.

And I love it.

Well, at least lunch was good

Today is a really hard, really emotional day for me.  Why?  I don't really know. I sit here at my desk ignoring all the things I should be doing - except laundry - a wife/mother can never escape the laundry.  I want to be exploring nature, I want to be taking the most amazing photo that I can get lost in later.  I want to be healthy (wealthy & wise).  I don't want to be cleaning my bedroom.  But then who really wants to be doing that?

Its a grey day here, which only translates to its not as hot in TX as it usually is, but exceptionally humid.

I didn't sleep Friday night, I passed out from exhaustion on Saturday night, then again last night spent last night up, again.  That is probably my problem, lack of sleep.  Well, this therapy session is going well isn't it?

I did accomplish a HUGE feat today. My kids ate what I consider a great lunch.  We had bread with olive oil, fresh strawberries, some apple, sliced cucumber & two different kinds of cheeses.  They agreed it was an awesome lunch and that we should have a picnic somewhere with a lunch like this.  Beats frozen pizza and processed lunch meat.  YEA...

And, unfortunately....back to cleaning that bedroom.

Worries

There are days that are sometimes just hard.  This whole week has been hard for me.  I so over-think and worry when something is up with the H man.  He's hurting - he won't cooperate.  I can force him to do what he wants and he whines & cries or I can not and he whines & cries.  I'm up all night due to the problems he has sleeping/breathing.  I don't know why I worry about him 10 times more than I do E.  I just do.  Maybe it is because I had trouble with him from before he was born.  Maybe it is the hand he's been dealt.  Not that he would tell you he is any different from anyone else.

I'm overwhelmed and I can't get any perspective.  I'm not sure which way to turn and I'm not sure where to go from here.  Maybe I just needed to get that out.  Maybe I'm just a crazed mother who's worried about her baby.

If you aren't sure what I'm talking about - click the title.  It will explain it all.

How I Spent My Holiday Weekend.

Stiff neck.  I had one for about two weeks, I figured I slept wrong, you would probably think the same thing.  Unfortunately, that was not the explanation.   Saturday, I woke up stiffer than usual with almost no range of movement in my neck.  I sucked it up, got dressed and went to work.  Went through the whole day carefully.  Turned my whole body instead of my neck when people talked to me.  Went home, hot shower, heating pad, little relief.  At 2:30 I could take it no longer.  I had my husband take me to the ER, the kids unfortunately had to come too.

I was released from the ER at 8 am Sunday morning.  I called the office and let them know I wasn't going to be in that day, which is extremely unusual for me.  I NEVER call in sick.  Sunday at 8pm the pain had doubled and we dropped the kids off at my sister-in-law's and we went back to the ER.  A CT,  MRI and 8 hours later I was in an ambulance being transfered from the small hospital to Downtown Baylor for an ENT & Neurosurgeon consult.  I have an abscess of fluid in my neck between my spinal-cord & esophagus.  Lots of IVs, pain pills and other things, I'm home.  Not necessarily cured, but not stuck in a place where I have to be woken up every 2 hours to check my blood pressure & temperature.

We still don't know where it came from our best guess so far is a sinus infection that went wrong.  There are still tests & cultures being run.  I am lacking in stamina that's for sure, but I am looking forward to an uninterrupted sleep tonight in my own bed.  I want to thank my husband who took awesome care of the babies and the house while I was in the hospital and my parents who were on call to come up if it went south.  Although I would love to see them, I'm glad it didn't go south.  I'm off to curl up in my comfortable bed and down my pain pill(s).

Don't take your health for granted like I did.  Look what a sinus infection did to me.

Its over

Well it has been about a month since I've been here last.  I'd like to tell you all the things that have happened in the last month, but I'm not really there.  Let's live in the moment.  I watched the series finale of LOST.  I'm not sure what I think.  I will reserve judgment until I've watched it again.  After watching I walked outside and climbed onto the trampoline and just watched the stars.  The moon lighted the whole backyard and the clouds were very apparent.  A few stars were in my view.  The wind in the trees the only sound.  Although I am not upset with the ending, I feel incomplete.  ~sigh~  I want to crawl in the mud, and hold Jack.  I can't believe its over.

"NOOOOOOO!"  Dijea screamed.

What in the heck am I going to watch now?

School Project: Book Cover

For my final Digital Imaging project I have to create a mock up of a book.  Not just any book, but a real book that has been re-designed.  I'm pretty excited about what I created so I'm going to show you.  See school is paying off!

What do you think?  See the original here.

AWESOMENESS & Being Blocked

Yesterday was awesome.  I had a good day, got a few things done, didn't do a few others.  Took a 5 mile walk around the lake, something I completely love and haven't managed enough of over the last few months.  The weather has finally been nice enough, but the two days I don't have school my husband's work schedule has changed and I'm not able to do my exercise.  Well, it has made a world of difference in my attitude.  Yesterday I found the perfect picture, I found the "good hurt" unfortunately, I didn't sleep, but that's another problem.

I worked today, not bad.  I was constantly busy, but not overwhelmed and my favorite boss came to see me.  Charles is always such a happy sight to see that it just put the cherry on top of my sundae so to speak. (That's sounds a little weird, even to me.)

So what's my problem?  I can't get the ridiculousness of Wednesday out of my head.  You know what my problem is - I can't accept being wrong.  I can't except it when someone doesn't see my point of view.  And, I can't get over it when what I see as the something special in my art is what someone else sees as the fault in my art.  So, instead I sit here with a sound project due in my multimedia class and I am DEAD BLOCKED.  There is nothing that's going to get me out of this funk.  NOTHING.  On top of everything I'm half deaf and instead of dealing with my problem head on I want to attack from the flank.  I also have a crap-load of homework due in other classes that this funk is affecting.  I NEED A BETTER THERAPIST THAN ME!

So now you know my fault.  I'm perfect & I live in an imperfect world and can't accept it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!  I'll take any advice, or I'll be happy to come over for a margarita.

Um, do they still make Calgon? I need it to take me away.

I'm having one of THOSE days.  Actually, I'm having one of those weeks.  Why you ask?  Well how about I just bullet point it for you:

• There was a fire at the house on Saturday
• I am WAY behind on my school work
• I am having to deal with the school district regarding H2's diability
• Emergency Vet Bill - need I say more
• I just had a flat tire
• The pollen count is ridiculously high (4000+)

Those are just the highlights and all this is since Saturday.  

Someone, send me a bottle of wine.

Hi! Remember me?

I can't believe its been almost a month since I've posted last.  So much is going on.  I'm back at school and finally think I've got this homework thing down without completely going insane.  I have to thank THE HUSBAND who has been amazing and is cooking dinner all the time.  Only God knows if I still could put a meal together in a pinch.  Its been a while, seriously.  Somehow in this mania, I have managed to keep up with my 365 photography project.  I'm still having a ball.  I also got a HUGE shout out as the Friday Featured Photographer on our illustrious leader Tasra Dawson's website.  Please check it out if you are so inclined.

I promise, I'll be posting more since I've got my school groove going.

No Power & Brain Jellification.

It's been a rough last few days. Thursday it started snowing & it didn't stop.  We were out of electricity for 57 hours - I'm not kidding.  Unfortunately, I know people who are still in the dark.  At one point it was 45 degrees in my house.  We were lucky enough that we had family in town willing to put us up.  My sister & her husband offered, however we stayed with my husband's Aunt & Uncle who were kind enough to offer us a warm bed and meals for a couple of days - it was WAY closer than my sister's place.  We lost power at 9 am on Thursday, I was periodically coming home to feed and water the cats, make sure the house was still standing, hoping the electricity had come back on.

On Saturday, I came to the house to gather laundry to do because we had NOTHING clean or warm, or not wet - and I saw a pick-up with a power logo on it and chased it down.  I spent 4 hours in 40 degree weather outside with no coat, talking up & flirting with Jerry - but when it all was said and done, the power was back on.  I'm hoping that we don't experience that again.  I am also hoping my friends get theirs back soon - they are toughing it out for their cat.  

Wasn't the snow pretty?

I'm currently overwhelmed with homework for school.  I can't even begin to tell explain the mush that was once my brain.  All this creating images, when I take perfectly nice photos, but NOOOOOOOOO, we have to make stuff up in Photoshop.  I have to make movies.  I have to listen to this one professor talk and talk and talk....you get the idea.  I'm giving up on trying to accomplish anything else today, I don't think I can comprehend anything else without total brain jellification.  (Its a word)  Wish me luck coming up with my BIG PROJECT for my new media.  That one is going to be the death of me.

I have GOT to have a night out soon.  No homework.  No thinking.  Just fun.  Oh Jackie......

Charity Starts at Home

What happened in Haiti is horrible.  Absolutely horrible, I thank all the people who have donated, the doctors, the people who either have given money time.  For the incredible outpouring of donations to the Red Cross.  But I want to say something that will probably garner a lot of ill will - or controversy.

CHARITY STARTS AT HOME!

It has irked me for a while that there are tons and tons of rich Americans that are handing money hand over fist to other countries when there are people starving in the US.  The homeless is growing faster than we can count the unemployment rate is ridiculous.  Companies are sending their offices, call centers and factories overseas to cut employment cost and then wonder why people aren't buying their products.  Well, I'll tell you why.  The wonderful people who bought your products and services are out of jobs because you have given them to other countries.  There are people who can't get medical care - and it doesn't have to do with a National Health Care Program - if you don't have a job, you can't pay for the anything the government is going to offer or the fine that comes from not buying it.  We need help at home.  Period.  I have been unemployed since June 2, 2009.  Not because I wanted to I had to quit my job, because it cost more to have my kids in daycare over the summer than I made working.  That right there is a sad fact.

Since then looking for work has been an exercise in futility.  I've sent tons and tons of resumes out.  I've posted them on websites - I haven't gotten one call for an interview and I was employed by the same company for over 14 years.  I can't even get an call from Walmart & Target.  I have however been offered several opportunities to launder money.  All of which I have turned down - I'm not stupid, but something better happen soon.

Companies, bring jobs back to the US, it truly is the only way to lower unemployment.  China is poisoning us by cutting corners, call centers in other countries are just pissing off consumers because they can't understand who they are talking to.  Don't try to gouge a profit from the people who are still employed because the ones teetering on the edge will fall off that cliff trying to fill a gas tank to get the little job they can find.  BUY AMERICAN, EMPLOY AMERICAN.  I can't say this enough.

Fill our food banks, start a fund for people who need medical care - hell just donate to the Red Cross for what they do in America - not other countries.  Adopt kids in America who need homes - there is no need to go to another country to do it.  Do you know how many kids are in need of homes or are in the Foster system?  I just saw a TV report that said that people from Mexico (illegal or legal) that are in the US for jobs are having trouble finding them or keeping them and are returning in droves to Mexico.  What does that say about the US if people are returning to the poverty in Mexico.

Wake up and smell the coffee - we are failing the people of the US.  Stand up and fight for it.

10 things for 2010

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  I DON'T DO RESOLUTIONS.  But I am going to take a page out of Nicole's book but put my own little twist on it.  She recently marked off 3 things on her big to-do list and I thought maybe I need to make a list - just for this year.  So here is my list:

1. Take a weekend, just for me.  I'm not sure what this will be, but it will entail ME.  It might be a spa weekend, or a by yourself hiking weekend or a weekend with a few friends, a weekend with my camera - or maybe a sexy romantic get-a-way with the husband. 
2. Add Yoga to my regular exercise routine, minimum once a week.  
3. Take the perfect photograph.  I'm trying SEE HERE.
4. Read To Kill A Mocking Bird - I can't believe a reader like me has never read this book.
5. Take a day every month just for my kids & do anything and everything they want.  They are in charge!  (This is probably the scariest.)
6. MEET my a few of my online friends.  Mindy & Jackie - this means you!
7. Step out of my comfort zone at least once.
8. Help a person in need.
9. Donate my time.
10. Re-landscape my yard.

While some look completely and totally exciting - some not so much. It gives me something to work for and well, maybe discover something about myself or someone else along the way.  This mushy stuff gives me the willies - over & out.

Post #502

I can't do anything normal - I should have screamed this is post #500 or something, but it got by me so here is post #502 on my blog.

Well, what has happened today...  I've had a panic attack, I've probably had a nervous breakdown as well.  My husband got angry at something neither one of us can control.  I cursed (luckily no one was around). I did clean out & file a paper size box of filing.  Woo Hoo!  On the other hand, I have accomplished nothing else.  I spent 1.5 hours trying to tame my hair, I only got it to Gilda Radner doing Rosanne Rosanna Danna.

I am going to the DFW January Blogger Get Together - if my husband approves.  I have a PTA board meeting tonight.  I have to give my inspirational quote.  I've picked "You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore" by Christopher Columbus. Although I would prefer this Walter Cronkite quote, "And that is the way it is.", because, well it fits today.  I'm not sure if anyone in the room would catch all that I mean by that so they are going to get Christopher Columbus instead.

I still haven't taken a picture for my photo blog yet....I guess I need to get moving.

Jeez, this year was suppose to be better.

Wow, who knew last night's NYE post was #500.  HMMM...

On a side note, this has been one hell of a past few hours.  The husband is on call - his phone won't receive or make calls.  Its 10 pm - no place is open.  Its New Years Day - no technical support.  January 1, 2010 - FAIL!!

Thank you-know-who there was still a glass of wine in the bottle.  I'm going to attempt sleep now.  Who wants to bet insomnia is going to win tonight?