I try so hard to get them to understand what is important and what is not. How to brush their teeth, why we can't replace the toy they just broke because they refused to take care of it. I sit here with tears streaming down my face knowing that I lack the something that gets through to them. I try, but they think its funny to ignore me. They think its funny to squirt all the toothpaste all over the sink instead of brush their teeth. They think I should keep up with their homework. That I am expected to not only do their laundry - but find out where they put the dirty stuff (because it's not in the laundry basket). Yes, I realize they are boys and that some of that is expected but that doesn't mean they can't learn a little responsibility.
My husband just wants peace and to not have to be the bad guy - I so understand this and wish that I had the option to do the same thing, but I am one of those people who hold the weight of the world on their shoulders and worry about everything. And today, I just want to give up. I talk and no one listens, they just tune me out or continue with the conversations with each other completely ignoring me and my pleadings. I am constantly doing the same thing over and over. I feel like I have no control over anything, but all the responsibility.
My children are old enough to have responsibility - and yet as hard as I try to enforce that, it doesn't work. I hear about my nephew who can sew buttons and I think, my youngest still says he can't button a button - and he doesn't want to learn. He wants tie shoes, but doesn't want to learn to tie.
I know that every mother feels this way at some point. Well almost - I'm sure there are a few perfect ones out there. Today, I just feel like a failure, and maybe I'm just expecting too much. I don't know - today is just not my day. Thanks for letting me vent - I will try to be funny and humorous tomorrow, today I'm going to pout.