I wore my “Vegas” outfit to work today. I always get at least one compliment when I wear it. Yes, those that know me know I need a visit from the fashion police or maybe What Not to Wear. I think its more my 40 year old awkward, I mean sagging, body and my cheapskatedness (yes, it’s a word) and not my fashion sense but I am not wearing Spanx so I can sweat all day long and look a little better.
Anyway, I wore my brown pants with my tank and a very colorful and long blouse over that. My blouse kept going to one side all day long instead down the center. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong except that it had to be my boobs. Then it hit me – My boobs are lop-sided. There is no other excuse, I mean why would it keep catching to the left. I look down and the scoop neck of the tank was actually crooked and down an inch lower on the left than the right. I threw my arms up frustrated and G – my girl G, she’s the best and always has a smile for everyone (she glows – no joke) anyway G, want to know what’s up and I said my boobs are uneven. If she had had a glass of milk it would have come out her nose. Seriously, I thought she might wet her pants she didn't stop laughing for a long time. I didn't think it was that funny, but a laugh is a laugh.
The next few hours were so frustrating because the damn shirt kept moving to the left and about 30 minutes before I was off I looked down again and noticed my tank was on backwards. Yes, backwards. Almost as good as shaving one leg, but not quite.