Monday, March 16, 2009

Almost as good as only shaving one leg....

I wore my “Vegas” outfit to work today. I always get at least one compliment when I wear it. Yes, those that know me know I need a visit from the fashion police or maybe What Not to Wear. I think its more my 40 year old awkward, I mean sagging, body and my cheapskatedness (yes, it’s a word) and not my fashion sense but I am not wearing Spanx so I can sweat all day long and look a little better.

Anyway, I wore my brown pants with my tank and a very colorful and long blouse over that. My blouse kept going to one side all day long instead down the center. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong except that it had to be my boobs. Then it hit me – My boobs are lop-sided. There is no other excuse, I mean why would it keep catching to the left. I look down and the scoop neck of the tank was actually crooked and down an inch lower on the left than the right. I threw my arms up frustrated and G – my girl G, she’s the best and always has a smile for everyone (she glows – no joke) anyway G, want to know what’s up and I said my boobs are uneven. If she had had a glass of milk it would have come out her nose. Seriously, I thought she might wet her pants she didn't stop laughing for a long time. I didn't think it was that funny, but a laugh is a laugh.

The next few hours were so frustrating because the damn shirt kept moving to the left and about 30 minutes before I was off I looked down again and noticed my tank was on backwards. Yes, backwards. Almost as good as shaving one leg, but not quite.

6 comments:

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

*lmao* oh sweetie...were we twins in an earlier life???

This was funny. Thank you for making me laugh.

phairhead said...

i think lop sided boobs are making a come back

Heather said...

I want to see a picture of this outfit now. LOL

Sorry you had a wardrobe malfunction, but at least it didn't get a nickname in your office like Nipplegate, right? LOL

And that shaving one leg thing... Dude... How else do you have time to get them shaved at all? I swear I have to alternate - today I shaved the right, so tomorrow the left. That's not the norm? LOL Well hell!

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

OMG....maybe I woke up in YOUR body and you work up in MY body?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Flutterby said...

LOL... I wear things like that... I have a new pair of jeans that my daughter is envious of because she thinks they make me look skinny. I've been managing to lose weight so she knows that is a MAJOR way to suck up, lol... anyway, I wear them with a tank and a blouse over it. A tight tank makes me look skinny too... and the blouse covers up anything that might try and escape.

Bunny Bunster said...

That is some serious funny!!