Things to do when the high is 110.

No that is not a typo - it was 110 degrees here today.  It was 109 yesterday and tomorrow it is going to be 111.  So if you don't live in a place that sees this kind of weather let me tell you what you should do.

STAY INSIDE AND READ, POST TOO MUCH RIDICULOUS THINGS ON FACEBOOK INCLUDING THE 7 DAY WEATHER OUTLOOK OR WATCH TOO MUCH BAD TV.

Well, I've done 2 of the 3, I will start #3 as soon as I'm done here.  Unfortunately this is NOT what I did today.  Here's what I did and whether it was smart or not.

• Drank hot coffee with breakfast even though it was already 95 degrees outside.  SMART, see caffeine.
• Took a shower & washed my hair.  NOT SMART, drying your hair causes you to sweat and need another shower.
• Take your child to the eye doctor & spend 3 hours in the office.  BOTH.  Smart, because H2 needs his eyes checked, Not-smart because when we got into the car it read 119 degrees.
• Going to a cemetery to take pictures of tombstones for find-a-grave at 4:45 in 109 degree weather.  You can figure this out, but the kids behaved pretty darn good in the funeral home & luckily the graves were in an air-conditioned mausoleum so not to bad.
• Water the yard.  NOT SMART.  See moving the water & the yard is already hay.

What did you do today?  And did you post a picture of your 7 day weather outlook?  Oh and notice the time on the iPhone when this was taken.

To retaliate or not to retaliate

Remember Friday's blog: Bah Humbug. I think I can actually speak about the atrocities that occurred. I think, I'm not sure. We all know that I am not getting any younger. I wouldn't exactly call me ancient, but I'm no spring chicken. I still listen to "hip" music. New Music. I'm not like some my age who can't get out of their youth in the 80's. My true love is the Foo Fighters, and I'm trying to like Them Crooked Vulture. I love People in Planes, Muse, Flyleaf, Chevelle. I like me some music. I can still stay up late - yes, it might be because of the insomnia, but lets not go there.

Well, an agent in my office - you know the one I don't work in anymore - came up to me and told me she liked the grey streaks in my hair.

EXCUSE ME! GREY? STREAKS? WTF?

I nicely laughed and said they are there because I'm too cheap to color my hair. But I DO NOT have grey streaks. Yes, I have a few grey hairs. I have children for Christ's sake. Two, three if you include my husband, and I have earned these grey hairs. But seriously, who compliments another woman by saying how much they like their grey streaks? I should have slapped her or told her how much I liked the rolls around her ankles or maybe how much the age spots brought out the brown in her eyes.

The funny thing about this - she has a good 20 years on me. Does this mean I need to color my hair?

Maybe its a TOOMAH...

I think something is wrong with me. SERIOUSLY WRONG. I'm feeling lovey-dovey. Yes you heard me right. I want to hug people and talk to people. I actually wrote that I loved my husband on Facebook. How pathetic is that? I do love him despite his addiction to video games and horror flicks - both of which I could totally do without. Oh and his propensity to burp at the dinner table - sometime even burp a sentence. Yes, he communicates through burps, well sometimes.

I am sarcastic and strange. Creatively obnoxious and well just plain different. I AM NOT LOVEY-DOVEY. Although I am a hopeless romantic. Didn't see that coming did you?

Except for this break so far today, I am cleaning - I think I even hear birds chirping. You'd think I was in a disney movie, except there is no way I would look as good as Amy Adams in curtains or get birds, squirrels and cockroaches to help me clean. Wouldn't that be nice? I might even go grocery shopping on a Saturday. Just because.

Okay, maybe not.

I have volunteered to make school packets next week. Am thinking about cleaning out a closet oh, and I'm going to paint my bedroom. What the heck is wrong with me? SOMEONE BRING BACK DIJEA.

I'm hoping hives aren't contagious

I get to do something today that is not my favorite thing - in fact its probably not anyone's favorite thing except Oprah, Dr. Oz, various journalists. OK, some people have a knack for this, but I don't speak well under pressure. I would be much calmer in a combat triage center than I will public speaking today. Seriously.

Not something that calms my nerves or relaxes me. I have to, actually no, I'm choosing to because I feel that a bad zoning decision is being made in my neighborhood. Sometimes it amazes me the stubbornness and short-sightedness of people. I know everyone has a right to their opinion and I'm OK with that, but misinforming people about the legislation they are trying to pass the PRO side of the argument has well, riled-me-up - as they say here in Texas.

I am trying to gather all my brain-power to somehow maintain my train-of-thought, not blabber like an idiot and say "uh" about a million times. I am probably going to make my husband count the "uhs" I say. Its a running joke because every time I leave a message with anyone I say uh like a thousand times. So I'll be taking Deep Breaths, finding my inner politician oh and taking a little Xanax to keep me calm. Feel free to pray for me - I'm going to need it.

What would be perfect - a nice heckle from the other side. It would make our case stronger.

Dear Blogger:

Blogger, bless me for I have sinned, its been 9 days since my last post and all hell has broken loose. My youngest has had a fever for 6 days. We are scheduled for the doctor (again) tomorrow because this is just too long. I have gone insane being home this many days with a sick kid and chosen to clean their room and re-arrange furniture.

Only you mothers would understand the total disgust I discovered when I moved the beds. I will save you the horror, because let me tell you - IT WAS BAD!

I was actually contemplating multi-dosing of tylenol and motrin Friday morning so that he could go to school and I could go to work, but at 4:30 when his fever shot up over 101 - well, that flew out of the window. I will now have to go talk with the principal because of his absences this semester. Oh, lovely day.

On a lighter note, I get to take Cagey - the baby kitty - back to the vet for another antibiotic shot as some stupid cat in the neighborhood beat the you-know-what out of him last night. I found him on the porch and he came in right away, which should have sent lightbulbs flashing in my brain but I was in a I've had a sick kid all week fog and it didn't register. I would have taken him last night, but I had a few glasses of wine and decided it would be best not to drive. 7 pm was the earliest I could get in today.

Well, thanks for visiting with my blogger. I'll look forward to next time.

I'm missing something.

Well,somewhereinthebigschemeofthingsI'velostmyspacebar.  ItseemsthatallmysentencesarerunningtoetherandIcan'tgetaorganizedthoughtout.  I'llseeifI'mbettertomorrow.

No, I won't come to your house.

I'm nuts,  crazy, a little insane even.  I have cleaned my whole house today.  THE WHOLE HOUSE.  I cleaned the kitchen - including sweeping and mopping the floors.  Both bathrooms (yes I even wiped the underside of the toilet lid).  I swept every inch of the hardwoods.  I vacuumed the rugs (and the baseboards).   All beds are made, all dishes are clean except the ones in the dishwasher  (its not full) and the glass I am currently drinking out of.  All laundry is washed, folded and put away, except the load currently in the dryer.  Oh, I even dusted the ceiling fans. 

Note to Husband:  

MAYBE AS A REWARD, I NEED A NIKON D300.  Right?  Come on honey, I know you want to get it for me.  Don't cha?  (Mason, I am smiling really big right now, that cannot be relayed in my writing.)

I know this might ruin it, but I haven't cleaned of the desk.  LOVE YA!

WHAT?

Here's a new one.  Someone just searched nerd giant nose and got to my blog.  Its not quite as good as some people who've managed to get traffic from Walmart Penis Pump, but I got it from this: 

nerd giant nose

I'm not sure if its good, bad or ugly, its just new for me.