Everyday can't be a winner

Today has not been my day.  I can't win, I'd been thinking of some kind of phrase to start this off but I could decide between:

"Damn it all to hell!"

"Crap!"

or

"Well, shit."

So instead I'll say today has not been my day and leave it at that.  It's really more lady-like.  If you have a better idea, I'm happy to take suggestions.

Um, do they still make Calgon? I need it to take me away.

I'm having one of THOSE days.  Actually, I'm having one of those weeks.  Why you ask?  Well how about I just bullet point it for you:

• There was a fire at the house on Saturday
• I am WAY behind on my school work
• I am having to deal with the school district regarding H2's diability
• Emergency Vet Bill - need I say more
• I just had a flat tire
• The pollen count is ridiculously high (4000+)

Those are just the highlights and all this is since Saturday.  

Someone, send me a bottle of wine.

No Power & Brain Jellification.

It's been a rough last few days. Thursday it started snowing & it didn't stop.  We were out of electricity for 57 hours - I'm not kidding.  Unfortunately, I know people who are still in the dark.  At one point it was 45 degrees in my house.  We were lucky enough that we had family in town willing to put us up.  My sister & her husband offered, however we stayed with my husband's Aunt & Uncle who were kind enough to offer us a warm bed and meals for a couple of days - it was WAY closer than my sister's place.  We lost power at 9 am on Thursday, I was periodically coming home to feed and water the cats, make sure the house was still standing, hoping the electricity had come back on.

On Saturday, I came to the house to gather laundry to do because we had NOTHING clean or warm, or not wet - and I saw a pick-up with a power logo on it and chased it down.  I spent 4 hours in 40 degree weather outside with no coat, talking up & flirting with Jerry - but when it all was said and done, the power was back on.  I'm hoping that we don't experience that again.  I am also hoping my friends get theirs back soon - they are toughing it out for their cat.  

Wasn't the snow pretty?

I'm currently overwhelmed with homework for school.  I can't even begin to tell explain the mush that was once my brain.  All this creating images, when I take perfectly nice photos, but NOOOOOOOOO, we have to make stuff up in Photoshop.  I have to make movies.  I have to listen to this one professor talk and talk and talk....you get the idea.  I'm giving up on trying to accomplish anything else today, I don't think I can comprehend anything else without total brain jellification.  (Its a word)  Wish me luck coming up with my BIG PROJECT for my new media.  That one is going to be the death of me.

I have GOT to have a night out soon.  No homework.  No thinking.  Just fun.  Oh Jackie......

Jeez, this year was suppose to be better.

Wow, who knew last night's NYE post was #500.  HMMM...

On a side note, this has been one hell of a past few hours.  The husband is on call - his phone won't receive or make calls.  Its 10 pm - no place is open.  Its New Years Day - no technical support.  January 1, 2010 - FAIL!!

Thank you-know-who there was still a glass of wine in the bottle.  I'm going to attempt sleep now.  Who wants to bet insomnia is going to win tonight?

Dear Hanes:

I love the fact that you have come out with tagless t-shirts, underwear, etc., however I must say that your "tagless" underwear is not really tagless. WHAT?!?! you say? Its not - its a poorly designed (I really wanted to say crappy) iron-on patch that well, starts peeling after 1 washing and when it starts to peel - its starts to chafe. I'm just saying that there is a certain part of the anatomy you don't want chafing. I'm just saying that this is the reason I stopped wearing the really-really-really soft cotton underwear from gap body (which is really to die for) because their iron-on patch underwear started to chafe - now I am sad to say I purchasing some of yours just last month because I'd lost so much weight I went down a size in underwear (crowd cheers!!!!) I will have to dump them in a giant trash can because my I'm having a reaction to your peeling tagless underwear.

Feel free to fix it and send me some free ones, because I'm not buying ANY until I know they won't upset the delicate skin that is my sexy bum.

Thank you.
Me

I need a Mulligan!

To say this morning didn't start out well, is well, an understatement. The Husband had to be at work early so he was out the door before we were fully awake. At 7:20 we realized that H2's shoes were in The Husband's car. He was 25 miles north of where we were so that was a wash. I rushed everyone in the car and was backing out of the driveway when I realized Target didn't open until 8 AM.

FYI, its testing week, so late is NOT a good thing.

So I went back inside tried to deal with the Diana Ross hair I had this morning. Put the straight iron to it and swished a little mascara on. No, makeup for Dijea today. Then rushed and dropped E off at school. Then went to Target with H2 in a pair of socks. Finally got him a pair of tennis shoes that fit him and we walked to the check out counter with H2 in his sock feet. The cashier was kind enough to cut off all the tags so we could put them on right there instead of walking back to the car for me to cut them off. So I rushed back to the school - had to walk him in to sign the tardy slip. Then left my brand new sunglasses on the counter at the school. Luckily they were still there and the secretary is holding them at her desk for me.

I realized in my stress haze that I hadn't taken my blood pressure meds and they were back at the house so I rushed back to the house grabbed my pills and rushed to the office. Sigh...

All this before 9 AM.

I'm hoping hives aren't contagious

I get to do something today that is not my favorite thing - in fact its probably not anyone's favorite thing except Oprah, Dr. Oz, various journalists. OK, some people have a knack for this, but I don't speak well under pressure. I would be much calmer in a combat triage center than I will public speaking today. Seriously.

Not something that calms my nerves or relaxes me. I have to, actually no, I'm choosing to because I feel that a bad zoning decision is being made in my neighborhood. Sometimes it amazes me the stubbornness and short-sightedness of people. I know everyone has a right to their opinion and I'm OK with that, but misinforming people about the legislation they are trying to pass the PRO side of the argument has well, riled-me-up - as they say here in Texas.

I am trying to gather all my brain-power to somehow maintain my train-of-thought, not blabber like an idiot and say "uh" about a million times. I am probably going to make my husband count the "uhs" I say. Its a running joke because every time I leave a message with anyone I say uh like a thousand times. So I'll be taking Deep Breaths, finding my inner politician oh and taking a little Xanax to keep me calm. Feel free to pray for me - I'm going to need it.

What would be perfect - a nice heckle from the other side. It would make our case stronger.

The one where I shared too much...

It amazes me sometimes the cycles that life goes through. I am finding myself in a very contemplative state wondering what direction to go and which path to follow. Sometimes I feel like a caged bird that opened its cage and sometimes I feel like a dog chained to a spike - allowed some freedom but limited.

I want to explore something different - find my true space in the universe. I know that sound bizarre because I am over 40 and should know what that is, but I don't. I have spent my life accommodating others. That sounds ridiculous doesn't it? I followed a job path my mother thought was acceptable. I always was afraid of disappointing her. I didn't finish college because I kept being pointed in the business/accounting/teaching direction. I am NOT by any means a left brained individual, but for some reason I felt it was more important to please others than please myself. Not that my mother ever forced her ideas on me, I for some strange reason felt required to follow her hopes for me. Maybe its just a fear of failure, so I follow someone else's ideas I can't fail with my own.

Now I am stuck in a horrible position of not doing what I love. Or even exploring what I like. I have an obligation to my family, one that will always come first as they are the most important people in my life. My husband, although a loud snoring individual, loves me and I want nothing more than to return that love in every way imaginable. My kids are a constant source of joy - even when arguing about who got more snacks or "special time" or who that stupid toy belongs to. My husband would absolutely let me try anything I want - he's that kind of guy. I thank my lucky stars I married him, even though he has an unhealthy obsession with video games and a rather off-color sense of humor and is as quick to temper as I am. I kind of like that off-color sense of humor, not so much the crazy songs he makes up.

I just wish that the economy wasn't so screwed up. That I didn't see the government making incredibly dumb decisions everyday. Where is it that we have to write all this extra crap into bills? Can't we just say NO and do only 1 thing at a time. I feel like we need to rebel against all the excess and just take it one thing/day at a time. I wish I could just do what I wanted instead of being responsible for so much. Yes, I'm trying to avoid cleaning the bathroom. Can you tell? It just frustrates the hell out of me to see so much crap being flung around in the name of all that is good in the world.

I find myself being pulled in a different direction. I've been walking and listening to some incredible music that puts me in a creative mindset. I've lot 10 lbs, I feel better, I want to just be me and not worry about responsibilities so much. Other than those I have to my husband and my kids. Its not that easy. Enjoy life and maybe, just maybe everything will fall into place.

Trail Blazing - Its not for sissies.

I hate snakes, I H-A-T-E them.  That might not be a very politically correct statement, but in my case, its a true statement.  True pretty much trumps anything "politically correct".  That being said, I'm going to tell you about my day beginning with the night before.  And no it does not involve THAT.  Get you head out of the gutter.

Yesterday, I picked up my kids from school and to make a long story short - my youngest's teacher seems to be picking on him.  Apparently she called him "slow".  Now this would piss off any normal parent, but me - I pretty much am so overprotective of H2 that my husband usually has to tell me to back off.  He's remarkable. He's wonderful, but starting from day one (and I mean conception) he's had a rough ride.  He was lacking amniotic fluid in the womb, he was born 5 weeks premature, he is legally blind without corrective lenses, he has fused teeth (don't ask) and a tendency to be a klutz.  He gets that last part from me.  

Anyway I am seething, mad, whatever you want to call it these days and just couldn't let it go, so I took myself to the gym - I mean I should make this work for me right?  So after cooking a really healthy dinner, I took myself to the gym to work off my anger.  Apparently it worked.  I came home, took a shower and after putting my little angels to bed, I crawled in bed to watch a previously recorded episode of House and didn't even make it through the first 30 minutes.  I didn't finish my wine either.  A major sin I know - I am still working on penance.  So after sleeping with the television on for about 4 hours I cut it off, rolled over and WOKE UP.  All I could do was argue with various members of the staff and little H2's school.  

Apparently in this giant mess, I failed to bring my phone in to the bedroom.  It doubles as my alarm clock so when it went off this morning I basically didn't hear it for a bit and then OH CRAP! that's the alarm, where is my phone, etc. etc. etc.  I hauled everyone out of bed and somehow we made it out and to the evil elementary school.  I parked and walked the kids up which confused them because I normally drop them at the curb.  I told them I had to drop off something and parked myself outside of the counselor's door.  We had a nice talk, I made the comment that the teacher was not following the guidelines that we had set for my visually impaired child and that she was calling him derogatory names that were prejudicial to his handicap.  Do you like that prejudicial to his handicap?  I was kind of proud of myself for that.  Anyway she promised to do something - I gave her a week.  The principal was gone today and I am promised a phone call by tomorrow.  We'll see how that goes. 

I then of course had to "de-stress" so I took my fancy camera and off I went to the arboretum.  Can't be made surrounded by gorgeous gardens and flowers.  It just doesn't work.  Then I ran over to the lake and went exploring in the fish hatchery again.  Did some trail blazing, Yippee!  The problem with that was that I walked into a nest of snakes.  Yes, I said that a nest of baby snakes.  I think I actually broke the record for the standing long jump, but as there was no one there to actually measure the jump I will never get the credit I deserve.  I mean I jumped about 1/2 a football field, or just a little less, but it was far.  REAL FAR. 

 You must check my photo blog, there will be some good stuff popping up for a while.  I enjoyed myself there too.  I came home only to eat and do a quick clean up and got a fabulous idea to take the kids back to the arboretum for an afternoon of frolicking, it was after all a balmy 70 degrees today.  I packed up a few snacks all three cameras and some shorts and T-shirts for them to change into.

We walked everywhere and they spent a good 30 minutes rolling down the soft green grass hill and laughing.  It was a wonderful afternoon.  One I'll have to repeat soon.  And my day was wonderful if you don't count anything before 9 AM.  

Politicians chap my you-know-what.

I want to get up on my roof right now and scream and yell, unfortunately I would probably be taken to the psych ward instead of taken seriously.  Our country is headed for complete and total ruin.  Yes, ruin.  I understand the nation being excited for change and believing it is going to happen, but I have something to tell you.  Its not.  

BTW - this is not a complaint on the current administration.  The American People elected this Congress & the President and that's that people get over it if you don't like it - or vote accordingly in the next election.  I just don't like some of the current ideas being thrown around.  I also am sick of the Democrats and Republicans blaming the other one for all the problems.  SHUT UP AND WORK TOGETHER I SAY.

This is not a big surprise to most people at least most people over a certain age.  We have seen a trend, but newer voters they just see change.  They see a Democrat instead of a Republican, they see the first African American President, a man who's going to fight for the little person.  I have a secret to tell you.  Politicians, regardless of whether they are Republican or Democrat, are going to fight for their own agenda (and livelihood) every time.  Over the past decade I have been pretty diligent about voicing my opinions to the representatives I have in the House and in the Senate.  I also communicate with my State Representatives.  Where has it gotten me - not very far.  What was satisfying was to tell a current political representative, while I was in line to vote, that I wasn't supporting him this year because not once did he respect the opinion I voiced to him and as my elected official - which I thought that was his job.  I completely agree that something has to change to help our country, but the current stimulus package is not going to do it.  Building a new building for Homeland Security and then furnishing it at a total of 1.1 billion dollars is not going to stimulate the economy.  Socializing medicine is going to screw up medicare and dramatically lower salaries for healthcare professionals.  Mind you health care is a growing field - it won't be if what is written in the current package passes.  Unless you are going to start paying for the educations of doctors they are not going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to get an education and then make less than their yard man.  My husband's salary would probably be cut in half.  I have health insurance and I'm going broke paying what they don't pay.  I am also paying almost as much for medical insurance as I am for my house each month.  But to socialize medicine - which is what President Obama is talking about no matter what he says is not going to help the economy.

I love that they want to replace all the government cars with hybrids.  Yea going green, but couldn't we replace them as they wear out instead of just buying a fleet of cars.  Seriously, how can buying a bunch of hybrids (mind you the car companies that are failing are not making hybrids) going to solve the economy?  

I love the idea of a tax credit to buy houses, but people, if you you don't have a job or you are now under-employed like most of us who still have jobs how the heck are you going to afford to buy a house.  Shoot how are you going to afford to sell the one you got.  And don't get me started about bailing out people who's homes have lost value.  Its call free market economy.  HELLO!?!  Is everyone awake out there?  Sometimes I wonder.  Are we going to start bailing out people who's stock has gone down in price.  Oh Congress, my car has gone down in value too, can I get a check or a tax credit or something.  I'll tell you what I need - a way to get out of my car lease.  Yes, I am so screwed with the car lease.  When I was flush - it so made sense, but now that the economy has tanked can you fix that for me?  

I don't have all the answers, but I do know that we don't manufacture anything anymore.  Maybe we should start doing that.  Maybe we should bring call centers back to the US instead of handing them out to other countries.  Maybe we should accept the fact that you can't be so greedy about needing a raise or additional benefits, there are people out there that can't feed themselves and unions are not giving in to concessions.  Heck, the current stimulus package is going to give money to Hollywood.  Tell me why do we need to do that?  

I'm sick to my stomach with all this stuff - Bush pushed thru a stimulus package, now in less than 6 months we are going to push another one thru.  That will make something like 1.5 trillion bucks.  Where is the money coming from and how come there is NOTHING in there that is going to help my situation.

Somewhere I know it says that the government is suppose to work for the people of that country, but I think the government didn't get the memo.  Thank you for your time and allowing me to vent.  I feel much better.

Sometimes I just wish to be anonymous.

Well, today is not working out any better than yesterday.  My neighbor with the underdeveloped sense of smarts and common sense decided it would be a good idea to run his sprinklers 1st thing in the morning when the temperature was below freezing.  Oh, did I mention it flooded our drive way - about 30 feet of our driveway.  He doesn't seem to understand that when water pours off of your yard it is fully saturated.  Here's to keep hoping that he learns before my house sinks.

This blog has always been an outlet for me, but at the moment I would love to hide under some anonymous umbrella and just let loose.  I am unable to do that at the moment and it sucks because I could really use some objective unsolicited advice, because we all know the best advice is unsolicited.  I need answers for questions I can't ask here and didn't get answered elsewhere.  Life sometimes just hands you crap.

I don't feel good.  My back is completely killing me.  I can barely stand to sit in the chair and type this because I have shooting pains up my back and numbness going down my leg.  I have a friend - a most wonderful lady - that is having surgery for breast cancer on Friday that has been occupying my thoughts.  Please feel free to say a prayer.  I'm sure I've made my husband mad with all the stupid crap with the neighbor.  He's gotten the wave of anger I feel all by himself and I'm sorry for that.  I feel frustrated and alone.  I'm in pain.   And I just want to go to bed and forget the world for about an hour, unfortunately there is laundry to do, toilets to clean and a lot of hardwoods to mop.  So enjoy your day, pray I can use my anger for good and not evil (that means burn it all up cleaning the house and not pouting in the corner) and that I figure out something for dinner.  

Ciao.

H-E-L-P!

I am stressing about the mother of all stresses right now.  NOT KNOWING THE ANSWER TO A QUESTION I REALLY FEEL THE NEED TO HAVE THE ANSWER TO.  I don't even know if I need to be stressing about it in the first place, its all conjecture, could be and maybe right now. Totally freaking out.   And no its not the pregnant thing.   Understand that? 

If you do (or even if you don't) please wish good karma our way.  

I need a search party for my sanity

Have you ever had one of those days?  Yes, we all have that was an incredibly stupid questions.  I on the other hand have had one of those weeks.  Yesterday, I spent 4 hours stressed to the hilt dealing with insurance companies/doctor's offices & State Regulating Offices.  We tried installing my over the range microwave and the installation instructions were not included.  So that had to be switched out.  Oh and my brand new double oven that was installed.  The bottom oven rattles when you turn it on.  The repair people are coming Monday to fix it because TODAY they are working on my floors.  We have the lovely hum (I mean scream) of a floor sander.  I slammed the crown of my head on the corner of a cabinet.  This was about an hour ago, I am still seeing double. Oh, and my husband is currently at the doctor for his back.  The back story is a whole different post.  

Happy Day.  I'm off to see if there is a magic happy pill somewhere.